Find myself

I used to find myself in a daze, not knowing what day it is Now I find myself living life each day, the way it is I used to find myself with eyes bloodshot, can't look in the mirror Now I find myself looking at my image proud, with a vision much clearer I used to find myself picking up drugs, even after jail and rehabs Now I find myself picking up nothing but the phone and key tags I used to find myself isolated, thinking about the past in sorrow. Now I find myself thinking about today, too early to think about tomorrow I used to find myself losing everything I had to drugs Now I find myself gaining everything back with love I used to find myself blaming others for my own problems Now I find myself learning how to deal my own issues and solve them I used to find myself in misery using drugs staying high for hours Now I find myself in serenity thanks to my caring higher power I used to not be able to find myself, broke peoples hearts and promises Now I have found myself... Thanks to Narcotics Anonymous

Grinder Singh

On 30 December I celebrated twelve years clean, and I am enjoying a rich life in recovery. I wanted to share with you some thoughts I had about the program of Narcotics Anonymous. The NA program helps me to give space to God in my life. NA is also about being vulnerable, and it teaches me that power is most effectively communicated not by looking powerful but by participating in powerlessness and in weakness. It is about sharing that powerlessness with others and helping to empower the recovering addict. The NA program expands my capacity for joy and increases my capacity for pain. It teaches me the value of a hidden life of humility, of giving without cost, of standing on my own both in moments of triumph and in moments of bitter failure. It tells me I cannot actively dictate my own destiny, but that my destiny is given me by another. Recovery teaches me that I cannot love others unless I love myself first. It teaches me the value of listening and receiving with quiet acceptance. I am grateful to my sponsor for being my confidante companion who will stand with me to the end of my journey giving me the space to walk, to listen, to suffer, to feel, to grow, and to surrender. My sponsor also teaches me the importance of relationships, showing me that life is walking together, and sharing one's person, showing me how to give and receive in a relationship. When I am faced with what I perceive to be insurmountable problems, NA symbolizes hope. NA has given me companions in my journey of life. Most people know that life evolves into death, but a few people like us addicts know that life can and does evolve from death the death caused by our active addiction. Thank you all for being there for me. From a fellow traveler on the path of recovery,

1. An increased tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.

2. Frequent attacks of smiling.

3. Feelings of being connected with others and nature.

4. Frequent overwhelming episodes of appreciation.

5. A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than from fears based on past experience.

6. An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.

7. A loss of ability to worry.

8. A loss of interest in conflict.

9. A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.

10. A loss of interest in judging others.

11. A loss of interest in judging self.

12. Gaining the ability to love without expecting anything in return.